By Shea Ki
Your good friend or family member that you support has scored an interview at her dream company. Or maybe she has been invited to speak on a podcast about her business. She is so excited and super NERVOUS.
You noticed she usually has positive things to say about herself, but with this added pressure she is likely starting to have some self-doubts. When the spotlight is about to be on us, sometimes all of our flaws suddenly seem big and our talents feel small.
It's a common problem that makes or breaks many career opportunities.
Handling the stress of being in the hot seat is what sets apart those who show up and sparkle from those who melt.
You believe your friend or family member is right for the job or the publicity opportunity. This blog post will give you caring and creative ideas on how to show her you are in her corner all the way.
Growing up, many of us were told "not to brag". For many, it invites the risk of being seen as a "show-off" and no one wants to come off as being "a know-it-all". It can be a challenge to demonstrate being humble while also showing confidence. This tension creates some of the struggle many of us have when we are asked to share our professional value.
As the my successful and dear friend Milissa, the CEO of Brag Swag, radiantly says:
"Everyone has something to be proud of. There is a balance between being arrogant and having genuine pride. We are so used to building up other people in our lives but we need to build ourselves up, too."
So while you are helping your friend build up her confidence, be mindful to let it serve as an opportunity to give yourself a boost, too.
Here are four ways you can help your friend or family member upgrade her interview skills so she can shine in the hot seat on her big day.
1) Get Her Talking About Her Strengths
Does she ever go into her closet to pull out the right shoes to go with a dazzling new dress? Or perhaps she can name the stats for her favorite sports team without much hesitation. Just as confidently, she needs to be able to easily share a strong example for each of her natural strengths.
An excellent resource for helping you and your friend find out your "Top 5 Strengths" is CliftonStrengths. This assessment does wonders for anyone that is going to need to explain what value they offer the world of work. It is the hunt for these strengths that are the reason for most interview questions.
I also created a list of questions in this infographic below to help build up her message of value.
The key with these questions is to listen actively and without judgment. This isn't the time to grill her or give feedback as you will only stress her out more. Keep it casual so she gives more details and gains comfort in talking about what she is good at.
2) Bring Her A Gift For Relaxing
We often hear we should "relax" and "just be yourself" at an interview, but it's often easier said then done. Here are a few ideas to help her naturally relax. They range from only costing you a few minutes of your time to spending a few extra dollars.
Make her laugh at just the right moment. Find out when her interview or big moment at work is expected to be. Set a reminder on your phone to send her a funny video or meme. There are plenty of funny and motivational ideas on my inspiring resource page if you are strapped for time in finding something.
Send a quick, thoughtful note. Imagine what it would feel like to see a message on her phone minutes before her moment in the hot seat. Something kind and supportive such as, "You got this, girl! And no matter what happens, I want to celebrate your courage today!" This kindness and support will do wonders for calming her nerves.
Deliver an item that melts away the stress. What girl doesn't love a surprise gift? Those butterflies in her stomach will fly away when she receives one of these items stress relieving gifts.
Many of us know that breathing deeply is key to shining in the hot seat, but it still can be a big challenge. Our minds and bodies want to contract rather than relax when under stress so we often need help and practice on this.
Your friend or family member will enjoy this darling, perfectly-fits-in-her-palm fidget called a Breathe Buddy. She can use it to remind her about the power of deep breaths and then easily put it back into her purse. Best of all, the website for this soothing tool has several free resources to help her practice deep breaths.
Neck & Shoulder Heating Pad
Too often we wait until after an important event to give our bodies the self-care it is craving. Your friend may feel like she has no time to do something good for herself before her interview.
She might be thinking to herself the common mistake of "I'll treat myself after the interview."
The benefits of heat on her neck and shoulders before an interview are amazing. Heat relieves a lot of tension that builds up in our mind, neck and shoulders while preparing for an interview. A heat treatment an hour before being in the spotlight often helps muscles keep better posture longer so our body language communicates more confidence.
Crystals Specific To Her Career Goals
The transformational power of crystals is becoming more understood, appreciated, and accessible thanks to the rising popularity of gorgeous and informative websites, including Energymuse.com.
My favorite crystals right now for attracting career success and opportunities that light me up are Garnet (it is also my birthstone!), Citrine, and Amazonite. From affordable crystals to stylish jewelry, this site will help you find the perfect way to show you care about your friend's career momentum. They even have someone available on the website to answer any crystal question you may have while shopping.
3) Provide Her A Holistic Career Coach
One of my favorite questions is,
"What is a holistic career coach?"
I often answer, "the best investment someone can make to ensure they keep attracting meaningful work that lights them up".
"Okay, sounds like maybe something I need...", is often the response.
Then a pause.
Then they ask something like--
"But what do you do? Fix up my resume?"
In my coaching business, putting the bling that attracts opportunities on resumes is just a small part of what I do. Depending on the client, I am involved in improving their online branding, providing a LinkedIn Profile makeover, and upgrading their interview skills for a promotion or job change. I also have clients who I help sustain their inspiration and connection to their highest energy during a busy work period. There are also others that look to me to improve their message to potential clients or boost their results during a job search.
Some people I coach like their career or enjoy running their small business. They are not looking to take a leap or change in position right now. Instead, they hired me because they want time on the job to feel even better. Together we assess their happiness at work and explore their mind, body, and spirit connection. These clients benefit from the powerful benefits of my background in practicing the law of attraction, mindfulness, Reiki, and other stress reduction methods that lead to more incredible work days.
Did you know you can connect your friend or family member with me so we can meet online and see if we are a good fit to work together? Purchasing an Upgrade My Interview™ Gift Card will show how much you care about her future at work.
But maybe you want to shop around to make sure you have found the best fit. I have recently started to see more career coaches combine practical tips and experience with spiritual practices to help their clients move forward faster. Look for the word "holistic" in their description of what they do and examine the sources of their certifications and professional development.
You also want to find out if the career coach has a variety of impressive educational attainment mixed with professional trainings they have attended on the mind, body, and spirit connection. If so, then you may be on the right path to finding someone like me who embraces a holistic approach when helping clients be happier at work. Your friend or family member will soon be thanking you for finding someone that quickly helps her gain more career clarity, confidence, and satisfaction at work.
4) Offer Her A Mirror Work Challenge
Keep your mind open for this last unique idea to help your friend or family member shine in the hot seat. When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and genuinely smiled? Not at anyone else, but just to you.
The brilliant and always-ahead-of-her-time Louise Hay is one well known and appreciated source of mirror work. She advocated that there is something powerful that gets stirred up when we say positive words about ourselves out loud while taking the time to look into our own eyes.
Yes, it might feel awkward or even silly at first. Laughter is a great relaxer, so no harm done if that happens and keep going with it. On the other hand, for some at first it makes them tear up or feel extra emotional. Why is this? Often we've not taken a pause in a long while (or maybe ever) to talk to ourselves with love and unconditional acceptance. It will get easier and feel more soothing each day.
Download Your Free Upgrade My Interview™ Affirmation Cards For Mirror Work
To help get you started, I've created this set of 10 affirmation cards you can download and print out. (I suggest using a 50% scale when you print them.) They look even more inspiring as a gift when you use glossy card stock or laminate them to make them extra special.
Each morning, give yourself one minute to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself (out loud!) these 10 positive power statements. After five days, notice any shifts in mindset, body language, and energy that you have experienced.
I challenge you to do mirror work for yourself for five days and feel the positive energy shift that happens. Once you gain the benefits, you can more easily encourage your friend or family member to give a Mirror Work challenge a go.
Offer the affirmation cards you printed. She can tape them to wherever she has a mirror. Every time she sees them, let it be a reminder to take a few seconds to look at herself and honor her value by saying the affirmation out loud in the mirror.
For even more fun, do a Mirror Work Challenge together with your friend or family member and hold each other accountable. At the end of the week, enjoy a tea, coffee, or glass of wine together and share what you experienced.
Now Go Get 'Em, Girl!
I often hear people say they can't put their finger on as to why they like someone they interviewed so much, but they just felt great around them. When you feel amazing about yourself at a deep level, your positive energy is contagious. People want to be near that authentic spark and work with you more.
Keep up the courageous effort in helping your friends, family members, and yourself upgrade your interview skills. When the time comes to share about your value in a high stakes situation, I am confident you will be more prepared in how you handle it.
Your turn: What other ideas do you have to help a friend or family member shine in the hot seat? Your voice matters here. Offer your tips in the comments below.
Most of all, believe in you.
Did you enjoy this post? My name is Shea Ki and I invite you to join my mission to end the interview struggle for talented women. My coaching sessions help you shine in the hot seat and attract work that lights you up.
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