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9/30/2019

Befriending Being Nervous: Flipping "What If I Fall" to "What If I Fly?"

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By Shea Ki

My heart was beating faster than normal. I could feel that familiar knot of excitement and nervous energy starting to bind up in my stomach. Suddenly I was feeling under qualified for this new opportunity of coaching a team of elementary school girls to run a 5K. I began questioning why I put my name in the hat to help lead it.

Fortunately, this time I remembered to walk my own talk. Before I arrived at the first practice, I gave myself time to do a three step ritual that helps ground and empower me.

1) I took three deep breathes while affirming out loud "I am enough".

2) I moved my body into warrior pose, my favorite yoga stance, and continued the deep breaths while looking up to the sky.

​3) Then I allowed myself another minute to do what I call a mini-Reiki shower.

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As I placed my hands over each main chakra area while doing Reiki, I could feel my anxious, doubting energy transform to confidence and ease. ​

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Thankfully, because I took the time to prepare my mindset, body language and energy, coaching my daughter's first "Girls On The Run" team a few weeks ago was a fun success. 

Did it go perfectly? Absolutely not. But my nerves did not get the best of me thanks to all the tools I used to maintain my alignment to the message of value I wanted to share.

Even though I am often coaching professional women on how to present their authentic, best self in interviews, I still struggle with my own performance anxiety from time to time. It gets really nerve-racking for me when, as Tara Mohr puts it, an event or project is challenging me to "play bigger". In her book that I devoured awhile back, Tara clearly informs us that no matter what level of success we are at, there will be inner work to do. 
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I've learned that when doubting questions from my inner critic show up, including, "what will they think?", "what if someone disagrees?", or "what if I fail?',  I can now more often flip the script.  

​Listening instead to my "inner mentor", I am choosing to do new experiences where I don't know exactly what to expect. I still feel the pit in the stomach start building up whenever I participate in experiences that push my skills, strengths, and patience further than I think is possible. However, now that I recognize this as part of my growth process, I don't shy away as fast or as often from new opportunities. 
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We can either get in our own way when under pressure or instead choose to ease up and completely trust that things are always working out for us.​

This poem by Erin Hanson also lifts my spirit when I feel nervous and I hope it helps you rise up to your full potential, too.

“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?” 
― Erin Hanson

Your turn: Have you been hesitating to put yourself out there more? What fears might be blocking you from opportunities and interviews that could lead to joyful work?

Share your voice: If you put your response here on the blog comments or email it to me, I'll send you a gift to you for your career journey. Your courage to notice and share your fears about failing or being successful deserves to be rewarded! 

Most of all, believe in yourself. ​
Shea Ki
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About The Author

Shea Ki is creator of the Upgrade My Interview™ method. Her blend of practical tips and holistic activities helps women interview in a way that feels authentic and gets results. You can follow her on Instagram for career inspiration, interview tips, and the occasional lip-syncing silliness. Learn more about her bio, background, and biz here.
Sharon link
10/17/2019 08:33:33 pm

Your 3 steps make perfect sense. It’s interesting how we often let our nerves get the best of us.

Shea Ki
10/17/2019 09:51:35 pm

So true, Sharon! Our brains are wired to protect us from change, so it pours on the fear/doubts/nervous feelings when it senses one is coming. I love seeing the difference it makes when others learn more about the power our mindset, body language, and energy have on this challenge.


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