Befriending Being Nervous: Flipping "What If I Fall" to "What If I Fly?"

By Shea Ki

My heart was beating faster than normal. I could feel that familiar knot of excitement and nervous energy starting to bind up in my stomach. Suddenly I was feeling under qualified for this new opportunity of coaching a team of elementary school girls to run a 5K. I began questioning why I put my name in the hat to help lead it.

Fortunately, this time I remembered to walk my own talk. Before I arrived at the first practice, I gave myself time to do a three step ritual that helps ground and empower me.

1) I took three deep breathes while affirming out loud "I am enough".

2) I moved my body into warrior pose, my favorite yoga stance, and continued the deep breaths while looking up to the sky.

​3) Then I allowed myself another minute to do what I call a mini-Reiki shower.

As I placed my hands over each main chakra area while doing Reiki, I could feel my anxious, doubting energy transform to confidence and ease. ​

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Thankfully, because I took the time to prepare my mindset, body language and energy, coaching my daughter's first "Girls On The Run" team a few weeks ago was a fun success. 

Did it go perfectly? Absolutely not. But my nerves did not get the best of me thanks to all the tools I used to maintain my alignment to the message of value I wanted to share.

Even though I am often coaching professional women on how to present their authentic, best self in interviews, I still struggle with my own performance anxiety from time to time. It gets really nerve-racking for me when, as Tara Mohr puts it, an event or project is challenging me to "play bigger". In her book that I devoured awhile back, Tara clearly informs us that no matter what level of success we are at, there will be inner work to do. 

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I've learned that when doubting questions from my inner critic show up, including, "what will they think?", "what if someone disagrees?", or "what if I fail?',  I can now more often flip the script.  

​Listening instead to my "inner mentor", I am choosing to do new experiences where I don't know exactly what to expect. I still feel the pit in the stomach start building up whenever I participate in experiences that push my skills, strengths, and patience further than I think is possible. However, now that I recognize this as part of my growth process, I don't shy away as fast or as often from new opportunities. 

We can either get in our own way when under pressure or instead choose to ease up and completely trust that things are always working out for us.​

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This poem by Erin Hanson also lifts my spirit when I feel nervous and I hope it helps you rise up to your full potential, too.

“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?” 
― Erin Hanson

Your turn: Have you been hesitating to put yourself out there more? What fears might be blocking you from opportunities and interviews that could lead to joyful work?

Share your voice: If you put your response here on the blog comments or email it to me, I'll send you a gift to you for your career journey. Your courage to notice and share your fears about failing or being successful deserves to be rewarded! 

Most of all, believe in yourself. ​

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About The Author

Shea Ki is creator of the Upgrade My Interview™ method. Her blend of practical tips and holistic activities helps women interview in a way that feels authentic and gets results. You can follow her on Instagram for career inspiration, interview tips, and the occasional lip-syncing silliness. Learn more about her bio, background, and biz here.