How To Upgrade When Your Job Is Sucking Away Your Joy

By Shea Ki

How often do you find yourself resisting something positive that you know you will be better for? Going for an upgrade can make us feel excited and nervous to do it at the same time. Today I got my haircut and styled, which was long overdue. I knew I needed to do make this improvement, but I kept putting it off.

My brain knew an upgrade would feel great afterwards, but I kept coming up with excuses not to go for it. 

I was resisting. A part of me did not want to let go of a long pony tail. There was also comfort in knowing that as a busy Mom, I could just toss my hair into a ponytail quickly in the morning. And then there was the internal battle of allowing myself time for it, although I coach clients on the benefits of self-care all the time!

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An Overdue Upgrade
Since the job to upgrade my hair was now a big one, I knew I would be stuck in the salon chair for at least two hours. The good news turned out to be that I was going to get to have a long, incredible talk with my new hair stylist, Angela. As she worked her much needed magic, our gab session began!

When I walked into the salon, I was happily surprised to find out that my new hair stylist was one of a kind. Angela's make-you-look-at-me-twice outfit, multi-colored beautifully cut hair, and creative tattoo on her inner arm dazzled. Her intentional style combined with a genuine, wide smile melted my stress and resistance right away. I was also put at ease when I described to her the look I was going for because she listened actively without interrupting.

​The universe was giving me a big high five and this hair cut heaven moment was on!

Change Is Good
Our talk started with some of the usual back and forth. When people ask me what I do for work, I mention that I am an online Career Coach. I love what I do so much that I don't have to say it as they usually notice from my big grin or happy energy about it. Then, like my new hair stylist did today, they often start sharing their own career story with me.

I listen openly and without judgment, so I usually get the unfiltered version. 

As her scissors started flying confidently and my locks of long hair fell quickly to the ground (sigh!), Angela said, 
​"I don't usually share my background too much with clients, but I feel like I can tell you that it has not been an easy road." ​

I was glad Angel was starting to feel as comfortable with me as I was about allowing her to cut many inches off of my hair. She walked me through the steps and mistakes she has made along her career journey so far.

​She started college studying physical training to help athletes, but after two years she noticed she was not happy doing that line of work or enjoying the classes much. She was pretty good at it, but each day she felt more like the real her was disappearing. Other stress in her life also started to pile up (details not shared here to protect privacy, but l can say life really tossed her difficulties to battle as it does to all of us). She stopped college and went back home--feeling burned out, confused, and ashamed.

After a few months of putting up with living with her parents again, she tried out government work. She enjoyed the paycheck but the 9 to 5 and endless routine in her duties didn't feel like a right fit either. Thankfully, her Mom noticed her feeling stuck and very low again and suggested she "try doing hair". Angela always had shown an interest in making her own hair stand out among the crowd. She described to me trends she set at her high school years ago with half-red-half-blonde hair, swirling mermaid hair, and other fun, creative looks. ​

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Not long after her Mom's unexpected suggestion, Angela began cosmetology training. As she was tapping into what this more energizing field had to offer, she also started noticing its limitations.

After school, she began working at a well known salon franchise but soon felt stifled by its demanding sales quotas and "30 minutes only with each client" rules. She found a new opportunity at a much smaller place. She did not get enough clients to make ends meet and the management insisted she only cut hair exactly as they did. So she began looking around again, listening to her desire that there had to be a better way.

A Needed Career Boost
Finally, a friend of hers was raving about a new hair salon that was doing things differently for their employees. She took another chance and has been working there for over a year now. That is how I got lucky enough to sit in Angela's chair.

​"At this place, I am allowed to spend more time with each person and we are given more freedom to style as we see fit for the client", Angela said. She also noted,

"It's not perfect, but I focus on the positive. Here they are not sucking the joy out of my work."

Angela has flare and she needed a work environment that allowed her to share her unique spark. She likes to flip her scissors as she cuts (most places don't allow that fancy trick), show her personality through what she is wearing, and uncover at least one of her fascinating tattoos in the workplace from time to time. 

Other hair-companies-that-shall-not-be-named would not tolerate most of these behaviors or her going against the "norm". Thankfully, (for me and others!), Angel stayed determined to find a place that would let her be herself more. Her management still has demanding and high standards, but she feels they also keep her well-being in mind.

Although Angela says she "kind of fell into it", she is doing something that often gives her joy. It may not be a field she decides to stay in for many more years, but she is learning more about what makes her feel satisfied in her work day as she gives it her best.

I told Angela that I am so glad she is listening to the small but significant signs of what helps her thrive at work. For her, having time for real breaks where she can get some fresh air, a boss that is not breathing down her neck, and sales goals that are reasonable are key. She is also discovering how important it is to her job satisfaction that she is able to put her own signature to her work and share her personality.

More than she may realize, she is also modeling that it feels great to step outside of your own box and take a leap out of the same old, same old.
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​As I was leaving, I said, "Next time I might just go for the mermaid hair."

 
​We both laughed. 

For now, I'm happy seeing what mermaid hair and make-up could like on me by using an App.

<--This picture my six old made of me makes me laugh SO loud!

Mermaid colors work in real life so well for many amazing beauty YouTubers, but not so much for me.

I am grateful to have heard Angela's career story. It reminded me of how a successful job search is often a hunt not just for the right pay and benefits, but also for the best place where we can express our true selves. 

Maybe one day there will be a career App that somehow lets us try on different work situations and jobs to see what feels best.

​With virtual reality technology getting better all the time, I bet at some point this could happen. Fortunately, investing in a professional, experienced career coach to provide you support also works to speed up the I-gotta-figure-my-future-out-because-this-job-I-have-now-is-torture process.

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Most of all, believe in you.

YOUR TURN: What is holding you back to having more joy in your work? Share your voice with a comment or question below.

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