Written By Shea Ki
There it is again. You wonder, when did it start? This feeling of just getting through the day at work? You aren't sure when the spark faded or perhaps you still haven't found what type of work lights you up. Either way, feeling stuck is a torture that takes its toll over time or with a sudden crash that disrupts everything you once had in order in your life.
Career disharmony is a discomfort that often starts out like a whisper from your heart that you feel unsettled, especially at your job. Perhaps you work is out of line with your true gifts. Maybe you are not sure what a better fit would be. Or often worse, you are not being valued in the workplace or you feel like over 50% of American employees who are overwhelmed and close to being burnt-out.
When left unaddressed or under-explored, career disharmony becomes a maddening yell from your soul that aches wildly for relief.
As the legacy of Dr. Wayne Dyer, who this world recently lost, encourages, "Don't die with your music still in you". Ignoring your truth of what you have to offer and pushing it away as noise, a phase, or something that is not the priority right now keeps the disharmony growing. This path often leads to lost income, missed opportunity, and sometimes disease.
The following are common struggles from clients over the past decade and others who ask me for career and interviewing support. I grouped their challenges into what I see are the most prevalent symptoms of career disharmony.
1. Putting off making a change again. And again.
"I keep promising myself I won't stay where I am not valued. But it's been a few years already and I am still working at the same toxic place where management is making it worse."
"I am comfortable to show up as me in other parts of my life, but at work I am feeling so damn incongruent and it makes my skin crawl. It's hard to find time to figure this out though."
2. Selling yourself short
"I know this is not even close to my dream job, but I can't imagine going through the horrid stress of interviewing again."
"I have done great things, but I fumble when I have to talk about my accomplishments. It keeps me here, but at least its a good paycheck."
3. Even the weekends are a blur
"I used to go out more often, but I'm so tired on the weekends all I want is to binge out on Netflix shows and carbs."
"On Saturdays, I am often catching up on what I couldn't get done during the week. It's how I stay ahead on the job and it's helped me get promoted. I don't feel like it's something I can keep up, though. Or if I even want to."
4. Increased health issues and stress
"My parents often said to follow my dreams and money will follow. I tried that and it didn't work and I couldn't pay my bills. Now I make really good money but I threw something away in the process while gaining more heartburn and rush-rushing all the time. I want that piece of me back."
"It's hard for me to shut down the pressures from work. I go to yoga class and eat pretty well, but it's still tough for me to dial down my anxiety and doubts. I think this might start affecting my performance."
5. Constantly in automatic mode
"Work. Eat. Sleep. Maybe trying to squeeze in a fitness class or a date but honestly those are the first things to go on the back burner when I need to get more work done. Or capture more sleep. Or eat something comforting to relieve the stress."
"I sometimes find myself driving towards work instead of heading to run the errand I need to do. I laugh at myself when I do this, but then I wonder what else am I missing living in automatic gear so much?"
Experiencing any of these difficult situations can also be seen as opportunities to make a change for the better. You can shift from career disharmony to a line of work that aligns with your true gifts or a more healthy envionment that lets you "play your music". The first step is recognizing that you deserve a more positive situation and knowing that there is support to help you figure it out from there.
Your turn- What ways do you see career disharmony affecting your day to day? Or if you love your job and feel valued at your workplace, what tips do you have for others to find a better situation? Join in the discussion by posting your comment.
Most of all, believe in you. I do.
9/17/2015 03:30:16 pm
I will be sharing this resource with my friend who has a fabulous daughter who is 25 and seems to need some career guidance. Once we're out of high school and college, the support for career exploration seems to be scarce. I'd hate for anyone to get stuck on a career path they didn't really think through.
9/17/2015 03:31:22 pm
I don't hate my work but I also am not a huge fan. I am eager to hear more.
9/17/2015 03:32:43 pm
I can relate to not moving up or out of my current job because interviewing makes me freeze up or just not want to put up with the hassle.
9/18/2015 09:44:04 am
I like thinking of my current situation as disharmony rather than confusion. It makes me realize I can really do something about it. I don't wanna end up getting stuck.
9/19/2015 12:46:49 pm
I like my job but I do think I get the shaft often as the work environment is pretty much toxic. I need to pay off some student loans and the money is good, but if I get stuck here I will go bananas. Working weekends is also a bummer.
10/13/2015 10:28:34 pm
I hear you on going bananas! Negative work environments are becoming less the norm since companies are figuring out nobody wins in that situation. I hope it gets better where you work but our Upgrade My Interview tribe is here to support you if you want to try and move in another direction.
9/22/2015 03:19:38 pm
I will pass this site along to my junior in college and if you do any webinars or e-courses during the holiday/Christmas break, please let me know! She is doing wonderful at school but I can tell she has a hard time like I did with sharing to others all her accomplishments. I want her to work where she will be valued and interviewing skills are so essential for that to happen. And I also want her to be able to find something for next summer--I think she waited too long this past summer to apply to jobs.
10/7/2015 07:58:05 am
so need to change my job to something I actually like! It blows my mind that I went to college and did well there but head to a place I can't stand almost everyday...this is helpful
10/10/2015 10:39:50 pm
I actually like my job now, but it wasn't always that way. I used to make much more money in a banking job but before my first year was up, I could tell it wasn't for me. It has not been an easy road (and I had to go back and live with my parents for a few months) landing a job I like more, but I am glad I made the change. I feel more myself and have more energy outside of my job. I hated so much my job before that it drained me more than I realized.
10/13/2015 10:26:11 pm
There are sometimes trade-offs, but I am glad to hear that Addie you feel more like the real you.
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