By Shea Ki
Things that we know do not mix well:
Water + Oil.
Vanessa Hudgens + Zac Efron.
Job Interviewing + Kissing.
But I'm writing about Job Interviewing + My First Kiss?!?
Don't worry, I am not encouraging anyone to bring a flirty vibe to the job interview with you. And if your job interview gets all awkward-in-that-gross-why-is-this-starting-to-feel-like-the-interviewer-wants-a-date kind of way, find the nearest exit!
Professional behavior is a top priority at your job interview, but it doesn't hurt to transfer to it what you have learned from being successful in other awkward experiences. Here are lessons learned from memories of my first kiss that still help me untangle my nerves for job interviews or other big moments.
I discovered worrying prevents success. Part of me wanted to get my first kiss over with and the other part did not want it to happen it yet. I didn't think I knew what I was doing. I was sure I would disappoint myself or the other person and it just felt SO important to get it right.
My mind was preoccupied with wondering is this going to happen? What will the other person be thinking? What if I freeze? Finally, I stopped overthinking and let go of wondering about the when, the how, and the with who. I focused my energy on other things that made me happy. Then BOOM. First kiss happened days later.
I figured out practice makes it better...and better. For that first kiss, I admit I wasn't sure where to put my hands, how to turn my head, if I should keep my eyes open or closed, and the list of huh?what? goes on.
Sure, I'd seen it done on TV a ton of times, talked to my friends about their experience, and read magazines that described all the "do's" and "do nots" in detail. But nothing helped me get better more than practicing.
I realized later that it didn't have to be such drama. Some people are told to picture the crowd in their underwear when they feel nervous or think of themselves on a beach. I sometimes think of the moments before and after that first kiss to remind myself to get out of my own way. When you are under pressure, you have to figure out what works for you and use it. Being able to bring up a memory or two for yourself of something that made you laugh or smile has big benefits. Even science confirms you really do bring down your stress level and will be able to perform better.
I determined the rollercoaster ride is worth it. Whether it was good or bad, because it was the first, it is a memory I will have forever. The relief when it was over, the spiked surge of energy, the replays in my head. But I don't remember his name...hmmmm, well, that is story for another time!
We often go through a wide range of ups and downs when the pressure is on and we are trying to impress someone for the first time. At your job interview, thinking about how you might mess it up or what could happen if you don't perform well will block your best performance from happening.
Impressing an employer becomes more possible when you know how to keep your mind in the present moment.
What helps you stress less about a job interview? Is there a memory in your past that makes you remember to not take things so seriously? Leave your reply or an encouraging tip for others in the comments below.
Most of all, believe in you.