By Shea Ki
What is a great interview performance without a special encore? I consider the negotiation phase after you have received a job offer to be your grand finale. When it is skipped over, it feels like something is missing from your show in the hot seat.
And your future earnings suffer.
Many of the high achieving women that I have coached admit that negotiating makes them uncomfortable and they consider it "so risky". In the past, they felt so relieved to be done with interviewing or what they considered the "hard part" of the hiring process. They didn't want to prolong things any further and sometimes simply passed on negotiating at all.
Also, why would they risk, as some have told me, "offending the employer" and possibly "loosing" their new opportunity?
This led me recently to dig into the psychology behind why many of us cringe at the thought of negotiating, especially when it comes to our salary and benefits package.
Did you know that the tendency to avoid negotiating is more of an issue for women than men? A recent Forbes article noted, “Sixty-eight percent of women accepted the salary they were offered and did not negotiate, a 16-percentage point difference when compared to men (52%).”
After reading a ton of other research into the topic, a post published by The Cut gave me #allthefeels. I was drawn into it's inspiration because it shows so many talented women staying in the fight that will help close the gender pay gap. But I was also disheartened to see incredible actresses like Jennifer Lawerence hesitate to ask for more because she didn't want to "seem difficult". It was eye-opening to read that female executives including Sheryl Sandberg felt afraid at first to negotiate with the CEO of Facebook since it "might botch the deal".
Thankfully, both of these women stepped up their negotiation strategy anyway. And more women at all levels of the workforce are learning to flex their negotiating muscle.
Although there is far to go in closing the gender pay gap, it has been encouraging finding more places online and offline currently talking about this issue. Accessible books, resources and trainings are showing us it is expected to ask for more.
We are moving our society backwards every time we don't ask for our professional worth. Which direction do you want our workforce AND YOUR FUTURE PAYCHECKS to go?
Even though we want to negotiate, it can be challenging figuring out what to say to start the conversation and how to keep it going in our favor. This Salary Negotiation Mind Map can serve as your downloadable blueprint for navigating through conversations about what you will be compensated.
Also, it is key to approach any negotiating conversation as you would an interview. Do all the upgrading you can to align your mindset, body language, and energy to your message of professional value before the big conversation.
And yes, for those that have been reading my blog or following me on Instagram for awhile now, you know I have to add in some holistic tips as to this practical guidance. Whenever I am about to have a conversation involving my professional worth, (and ESPECIALLY when it will also involve money), you can bet I am going to do a ritual to align with my highest energy FIRST.
Enjoying some time with a force I find sacred clears out most of my self-doubt and nervous vibe. Most of all, it helps ensure my "ask" in the negotiation comes from a place that is in my highest good and will provide the best outcome for all involved.
I feel more empowerment and clarity when I program crystals with my intention that are known to help release money blocks, such as pyrite and aventurine. This might involve doing Reiki on myself, then on the crystals, and then towards the online place or physical location where the important talk will take place. I also make time to enjoy setting up one of the prosperity rituals offered in the incredible Crystal Muse book or I make one up on my own.
Depending on if the negotiation conversation will be in person or online, I toss one of my charged-up, beautiful crystals in my work bag or place it near my lap top. This ensures that I have a tangible reminder of the extra support I feel and it helps me bring my best energy to the conversation.
I love hearing about what special, small object my clients choose to have along with them to help support their positivity and confidence.
Share Your Voice
Have you ever negotiated your salary? If you did, how did it go? If you didn’t, what held you back from asking for more?
🗣Share your thoughts in the comments below. The more WE talk about this topic openly and learn from each other, the greater impact we can make on closing the gender pay gap.
Most of all, believe in you.
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