I had other plans for my post here this month.
But then the unfathomable happened.
How do we try to keep our focus, especially on interview prep, when our hearts are bleeding out after unthinkable, horrible things have occurred?
I share more about this in this video.
Bottom line: I don't have an answer for you on that. And I am not good at it myself.
I can tell you that it helps me to stop in my tracks for several days. But not everyone is able to do that.
I also have discovered it eases the pain, at least in some ways, to take action and be part of the much needed, overdue healing and changes the society I live in desperately needs.
I have so many mixed feelings about the fact that after each horrifying event, somehow, businesses are still pressing on. People are still hiring. Interviews are still happening.
It all has made me wonder, what current advice or tips are out there for having to be interviewed when terrible things have happened?
I haven't found much useful information on this yet. The most relevant examples I could find was from 2015 and 2017. We are now in 2022 where SO much emotional turmoil, physical suffering and unimaginable loss has happened to so many during the past few years.
Unexpectedly, my research on this topic led me to more questions.
Why is there currently not much guidance on mentioning recent personal tragedies or traumas in a job interview?
Where has the line moved to know when we have crossed into over-sharing in a professional setting? (Please tell me it has moved to support some vulnerability--but really, has it?)
Are employers, recruiters, and hiring managers being more compassionate and understanding lately if a question or moment in the hot seat triggers a loss of composure or tears?
I'd love to hear from you on any of these questions. DM me on LinkedIn or email me to share your thoughts or what you have experienced lately on this topic.
Don't Hold It All In
I keep reminding myself and everyone I coach to lean even more on the support of those who have our back and want the best for us.
We need to share OUT LOUD about what we are going through with those we trust.
Each day seems to bring unbearable news about the world or a terrible event that sucker punches us closer to our home and heart.
Let's promise right now to stop carrying the emotional load by ourselves.
As many of you already know, I am a steadfast advocate for seeking out professional, certified, and experienced mental health specialists (counselors, therapists, social workers, psychologists, etc.). I know I have benefitted greatly with such support, now more than ever.
If you have skipped meetings with someone who helps your wellbeing, take this as a loving nudge to go set that up right now.
Help Each Other Navigate Through Pain
I also started watching Brene Brown's series "Atlas Of the Heart" on HBO Max and the timing for me is spot on. If you are not sure where to begin with shifting from feeling in shock, anguish, numb, ungrounded and/or disconnected to others, the reflective work that she offers all of us to do in this show will help.
I recommend not binging it, especially for those, who like me, tend to be highly sensitive to other people's pain. Instead, make uninterrupted time for each episode, lovingly prepare a warm cup of your favorite tea, and grab a comfy blanket. Then take in her leading-edge lessons, deep emotional research, and new framework of how to supportively see, hear, and value each other.
For me, it has been a salve to my soul and empowering at a time when what I see going on often makes no sense and brings me to my knees. And let's not even get started with the compounding stress of having to explain SO many hard things to my kids while still needing to show up for many responsibilities. Thankfully, Brene's work is giving me a better foundational understanding of how to navigate through.
Move Forward, But We Must First Pause For Healing
I know my post here is only getting to the initial layers of the many tragic, unresolved issues we must start addressing in better ways collectively. I believe that the best first step to take often starts with ourselves. As Brene's show is helping me to understand, if we don't acquire more shared language and a deeper, healithier capacity to be part of the change, we will do more harm than good.
We also can't walk into a space with other people, online or in person, and pretend everything is "fine" anymore. It never really was. The headlines, social movements, wars, and more make it necessary to get equipped to share, actively listen and believe the hard, challenging experiences we each are enduring.
These uncomfortable, difficult, and needed conversations cannot be limited to only at home or with friends and family. What if they could also happen regularly with no stigma or other penalizing consequences at interviews when it is relevant? Or in other high stakes situations in workplaces when it will create healing and positive change?
We have what seems an impossibly, long way to go to create a safer, truly inclusive, and loving society.
I have to hold on to my hope. I believe that choosing to better understand and heal ourselves individually could be the catalyst that sparks change faster.
I appreciate you reading what I needed to share.
I hope to carry on with bringing you the 5 Day Upgrade My Interview™ Adventure next month, but we'll see how things unfold.
Let's keep taking extra good care of ourselves.
💖And each other.
Thanks for visiting Upgrade My Interview™!